One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Slut skills are useful in every country.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
