You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
