I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
