please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He better not be in your backpack
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize