It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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