just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
