I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
