I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
