2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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