we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
