I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
