Dual....:-)
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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