Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
