can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
