I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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