I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
