New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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