What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
and she was petting her beer can
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
