Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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