You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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