My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize