we have officially lost it.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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