Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
sex in a hospital.. check
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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