The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
