yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i drank out of a bidet.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
