Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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