nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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