hotel room ftw
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
