I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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