Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize