I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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