uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I faked an abortion last night.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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