Farmville is her only friend.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
