dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
