I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
