matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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