Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
