Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
