So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
