she woke up with a sticky ear
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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