fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
