So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
