it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
