then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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