Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
