Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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