You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
