THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
