you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
