Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize