Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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