VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
