fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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