I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
