I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize