Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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