You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We were destined to go to rehab together
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My ass is underappreciated
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
