"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
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I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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