I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Mom said you looked used
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
