Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Two words: nipple clamps
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