I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
a search helicopter?!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
