K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize